Everybody knows that breakups and relationships can be hard. It is very painful to say goodbye to someone you care for on a deep level. If that's something that's affecting you right now, please know that it's not your fault! Even though you may feel like blaming yourself, it's very likely that you just need some guidance. Here are three things you can do.

#1 - Work on your self-esteem

Breakups can affect your self-esteem. If you don't start picking yourself up quickly, you'll become less attractive, especially to your ex. It's important that you build yourself up to be better than you were before.

This will put you in a powerful position. As you become less needy, you will find it easier to get your ex back. You may also choose to get a new partner. A high self-esteem will create the momentum you need to attract the person you want.

Also, self-esteem is sexy. There is a secret to making it work fast. That's what we will talk about next...

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#2 - Create strong personal boundaries

When relationships end, people become vulnerable. This makes it easier for them to get hurt even more. You may even start thinking you are not good enough. Again, this will make you less sexy and attractive.

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Think about negative behaviors you accept. For example, your ex might have been disrespectful to you on many occasions. If you accepted that kind of behavior, your boundaries have been weakened. This has resulted in you losing self-esteem.

So, how do you go about creating boundaries? Learn how to say "No@ to people. It may seem counter-intuitive but that's how you gain respect. Remember, without respect, there is no attraction - and no relationship.

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#3 - Allow yourself to feel the pain

This bit is very difficult. The pain of breakups often seems unbearable. So people in turn to distractions to help themselves deal with it. They may even use things like drugs and alcohol to make themselves feel better.

Yet, if you can bear it for a while, after some time it stops affecting you. You start to see things more clearly. You'll begin to understand why your relationships are not working. This will help you know what you need to do next.

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Once you start feeling better, think about your relationship patterns. Chances are that a similar scenario keeps repeating itself. If that's the case, all you need to do is figure out why.

Once you've found your pattern, you can correct it. The key is to keeping loving yourself, even if it seems nobody else does. The more love you give to yourself, the faster you'll get back on your feet.